Ptou the Messenger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
over_the_fop) wrote2012-08-15 05:36 am
over_the_fop) wrote2012-08-15 05:36 am
Question Meme!
Well, I'm not at 10k, but it HAS been a long time for me, and my tagging mojo is slow.
You guys know the drill, insert question, get answer and new question. RINSE AND REPEAT TO FLAVOR.
Right now I only have Ptou and Ygin.
You guys know the drill, insert question, get answer and new question. RINSE AND REPEAT TO FLAVOR.
Right now I only have Ptou and Ygin.
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Fill out Ptou's Permissions!
What's his favorite thing to do?
YGIN
...nnghh.
Headcanon for Ygin?
Ygin's opinion of Leo?
And how exciting - you'll get to fill in Ygin's priests on the directory!
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.... I GUESS I DIDN'T DO THAT LIKE A BOSS! It is done now.
His favorite thing. Gosh, he's really scattered about what his favorite thing is. Usually it's whatever he's enjoying right now that is his favorite thing, because he's still extremely IN THE MOMENT as far as sensation and sensory memory goes.
But as far as things he REGULARLY enjoys... painting is probably the biggest standard. Otherwise, it's ... really doing THINGS with his apartmentmates. It can be as simple as a meal, or the cuddle piles of people at night. They're not as DRAMATICALLY I enjoy this the most ever, as hell, sometimes BREATHING makes Ptou ridiculously happy (it's so NEAT, why did I never know about lungs before?) but the simple things, have a quieter, longer and deeper satisfaction for him.
PART THE YGIN
Man. THIS IS A BIT HARD TO DO HEADCANON ON THINGS THAT THERE IS STILL PLOT ON.
Okay.
Okay.
Ygin hates having a shrine. It's really only a token in its mind. It's not so much the shrine itself but the predictability and knowledge that yes, behind it there is THIS. It goes directly against its nature.
It doesn't stay there :D It likes wandering the HQ, especially at night.
Sometimes if you wake up in a cold sweat for absolutely no reason... it was probably slipping through your apartment.
Ygin likes beauty and rarity. It's very possessive and will attempt to collect the things it likes.
Ygin cannot stand bright, direct light, particularly sunlight.
There's more of it than you can imagine :D
As I mentioned Ygin is very possessive. Leo not only caught its particular interest, but came BACK to it. It's not sure what it likes yet, but it knows this one is one of its.
It will keep it~ It will help it~ It will keep it forever~
Leo's thoughts on Ygin in general, and why he ultimately decided to break the deal with S'vx?
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Leo
His thoughts on Ygin started with a single, simple motion: a pat on the back when he threw up in Sigma. It was comforting when there was no reason for it to be and that tiny bit of kindness really stuck with him. It's something other people haven't really afforded him. Leo's used to being disliked, feared, or used, but never comforted. He's been in Ygin's presence a handful of times now: the sacrifice event, calling him from Sigma, Yukari's retrieval, and then returning to his shrine. There's no easy way to describe it, but Ygin's intentions feel genuine - like a child or creature that just feels. If angered, it's angry. If lonely, it's lonely. Nothing less and nothing hidden. He recognizes that Ygin has protected them several times - on the 5th Level and in S'vx's realm and the terrifying things that happens around him are terrifying, but psychological - there hasn't been any lasting damage (so far!).
Leo (and the rest of his entourage) is a pretty fair judge of character, and at no point did he ever trust S'vx. He always knew S'vx would use him, and that was fine, as long as it ended up with Elliot's safety. but I'm not sure how far he could have gone to please him. Human sacrifices are not beyond a Glen (Oswald sacrificed his sister when he took the title of Glen, and he ordered the Baskervilles to kill everyone in Sablier when it was dropping into The Abyss). Leo does not care what happens to anyone else, as long as Elliot is alright and lives. That's what he thought coming to Thusia and finding him alive, except now Elliot is beating it through his brain that Leo dying, or sacrificing himself or anyone else will crush him. He's starting to form other friendships, but nothing is as strong. He has absolutely no self worth without Elliot, and he trusts Elliot too much to believe otherwise.
Leo chose to make a deal with S'vx partly because of that first moment when S'vx's children got bored and 'played' with him - nearly drowning him. That was a shock. If Leo could die in Thusia (as Baskerville's are considered nearly immortal in canon, more like chains than people), Elliot could die. It was better to make a deal with the devil to spare the person he cares about most than watch him die again. If Elliot were to ever die or come close in Thusia - there would certainly be shattering pieces of Leo's psyche all over the place. The fallout would be unrepairable and the mood shifts would be extreme. In truth, Leo has no problems being the villain if Elliot is not there to stop him. He needs to be grounded by something or someone... and that brings me to Ygin!
While he doesn't trust S'vx. That can't be said for Ygin. Leo trusted him to get Elliot - not even anyone else, not even himself - Elliot, to S'vx's realm to rescue Yukari. This rectifies a part of himself that he couldn't stand. Leo will do horrible things to protect people, and hate himself more than anything in the world as a result.
For all his mistakes and fears, Ygin is still encouraging.... in its own way. Leo fears a lot of things (his fear of his eyes/the lights that don't show in Thusia, the voices in his head, people thinking he's crazy, Elliot dying, or people forgetting events that he thought were true). They're so deep rooted in his personality that he would rather seclude himself from the entire world than face his life. He spent most of his life, and canon, even hiding his eyes from people with glasses or hair just to not be seen - and if someone did take notice of him, he couldn't deal with them, he would verbally berate them or react violently to escape. Ygin gets to bypass that knee-jerk reaction by just being alarmingly unexpected. Because Leo is usually shocked or scared, he's frozen, disarmed, and he listens to Ygin.
And as a side note, total Darkness is a bit of a relief to Leo. For his whole life, he could see these floating lights that no one else could see. In Thusia, he doesn't see them, but he expects to. On the flip side, in Ygin's shrine during his recent visit, he heard water. Whenever the Glens push Leo to the back or talk to him (often teasing or scathingly), it's pictured as a dark world with lights, and a layer of water on the ground. Nothing else. And the shrine visit reminded him of that, and it's why he got scared - remembering what should happen and would have happened if he hadn't died. But Ygin, again, gave courage and comfort. By the time he left, he really believed Ygin was trying to help.
... and I'll just keep rambling at this rate. I just got home from work, so teensy novel answer and back to figuring out this nature thread while it's on my mind. *_* I need that heart.
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He. Actually probably counts Tare as a friend. He really doesn't HAVE that dissociation that most people do that mortals and gods are on different levels and relationships should be this or this. Nope, he has none of that at all. On the other hand, he doesn't EXPECT much of Tare, as far as going outside of hir way. He's very cognizant that gods are creatures and in many ways, servants of their own nature, and you just can't buck that.
Still, sie gives him a lot of hope because gods like Tare simply ... didn't survive long in Sabra when it went underground. Sie is the best indicator that this is early stages and that intentions ARE possibly what they seem to be.
Which leads to a certain level of trust. Ptou is a very, very good example of the concept that truth and honesty are divorced concepts. Tare may not be telling the truth, but what sie does say, is honest as far as sie knows. And that is as much as he cares about at this point.
He will really actively keep specifically Tare and Kain OUT of his plans and machinations for... well... all of those reasons.
TL;DR TARES ARE FOR CUDDLING, BITCHES.
REVERSE
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Ptou specifically though, xe just... relaxes completely around. It's very kindred spirit, and xe is drawn to that. Xe likes not having to explain things, likes having him just understand, loves his delight and the joy with which he throws himself into things. They really do just kind of kitten pile and xe needs people like that around.
THIS IS PTOU/CHRONO/TEMPEST:
THIS IS TARE AND PTOU:
'^' totally legit feels on things.
How's Ptou feeling about the hellions' efforts in the move?
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If asked, he'd glibly mention that he told Tempest he fully intended on courting them properly. And like most things that Ptou says, it is very technically the truth. It IS a courtship gesture and it does MEAN everything it entails.
But it is also... something symbolic to him, especially coming after that concept that he could have (and could still) lose both of them due to something he does, even so small, and that he can no longer pull back and write it all off. It's past that. And after a bit of very terrified and sober internal conflict, just. Accepted it.
Which means them not only confirming, to him, the same. That they're all in this together. They ARE this. Whatever it is. But also with a certain happiness he hadn't expected, a certain show of gesture and depth he couldn't have predicted.
Yes. Quite a bit past warm and fuzzy.
How does Tempest think about the changes all of this (Thusia, sparkles, the brot3) has made in her? Does she reflect on it at all?
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The first, is that she's the happiest she's ever been, that she has a home, people she loves, and she isn't alone. That given the choice of returning to her old life or staying here, she'd choose here, every single time. It's hard, sometimes, and she does note all the differences that have changed her, but, she's also thankful for them.
On the other hand, it IS difficult. And when things get particularly difficult, as has happened lately, she contemplates just . . . returning to what she was. It was easier, not giving a damn, not caring about anyone (or herself), and just living each day as if it could be her last. It was a miserable existence, but it was so much easier.
The last time she spoke to Archer really shook up this line of thinking in her, but Ptou's present kind of . . . smoothed it all out.
But it all comes down to one thing, and that is that she can't leave the Brot3. She just - she can't. She's so attached to them, she loves them both, and she doesn't want to lose that. She's tired of being alone, and with them, she . . . never feels alone, ever. It's because of them and Sparkles that she stayed. It's because of them that she opened up. And as rough as it gets . . . they always have that moment, at the end of the day, where they just gather together and forget the rest of the world. Admittedly, her favorite part of the day.
What are Ptou's thoughts on how he's changed?
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In a deeply unconscious level, he STILL actually doesn't believe he CAN change. Adapt, sure. But change? No, you break first.
That's a core thought to him that... honestly, may take longer than Thusia's lifespan as a game for him to grow past. If he ever does.
What's one thing or experience from home she would wish to bring to Thusia to share with Sparkles?
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Is there anything Ptou wants to do to/for his things?
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If those hadn't been in place, he wouldn't have really been sort of training himself to LOOK at situations from a more empathetic viewpoint.
So it actually hit in a cascade succession. If they go out and die right now, I'm a direct contributing factor. I can't talk them out of it. I feel sick. Why would I feel that way? It's also their choice!!!! .... .... I CARE whether they come back or not. This thought remains the same whether it was stupid to go or not, whether it IS their own free will or not. No amount of rationalizing was making that FEELING go away. Oh fuck.
He does, in fact, understand it. But the options that he used to take when it did... are no longer available. Actually might not even be acceptable.
There's no safety. He can't make it happen. He can't change anything to do it.
He has no power in this at all. (And there is that tiny, cowardly thought that yes, he COULD force good decisions. He could kind of see where dad was coming from there. Before he ruthlessly decimated the notion.)
So yes. He's just, riding this through, with no idea how the fuck it's going to end up. AT ALL.
Chrono on Feathers.
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I told Ruru once that Feathers showing up in Thusia is about on the same level as contract-dead Rosette showing up. IT'S THAT BAD.
On the one hand, her being here is Not Okay. And she herself is obviously Not Okay in a way he's never seen her before. It simultaneously breaks his heart and fills him with misdirected rage because he doesn't know who to blame. (You better believe he preemptively hates his alterself for not doing enough to protect her, though. DOESN'T KNOW THE CIRCUMSTANCES but. Doesn't matter. She's dead and that's a thing.) That combined with how all clues point to her having died alone, after being alone for some extended length of time...
Add in that she isn't "his" Feathers. She is, but she isn't. Pre-Thusia, he came to her when he was completely broken and had nothing left, and she set him free. That encounter is hugely important to him, and meeting a Feathers with no memory of it... it just hurts. A lot.
At the same time, he's happy to see her again. She's one of the most important people in his life, and he thought their paths would never cross again in any world. So it's like... yes, everything is terrible. But you're here and I can see you and touch you and speak with you, and I'm going to selfishly enjoy this. Even if I have to hate myself while I do it. What's one more thing.
You can expect unending, ridiculous levels of devotion to her for basically forever. Feathers gets her own special level of priority.
The gates of Thusia open up and they can go anywhere, to any universe, do anything, and be relatively safe doing it. Where does Ptou go and what does he do? Does he drag Chrono and Tempest with him?
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She's... his guilt, she's one of the things he kept fighting for. She's something he kind of hates, and hates himself for doing it because it's SELFISH. She was the reason he couldn't just keep convincing himself it could work. That there was no limit to what could be paid for another start. He loves her, so so deeply. He needs her.
... He never would have wanted her to be here. She should have gotten to rest, should have gotten to hold the Gentleman's hand, sit on his shoulder and watch their world finally sleep, and something come back up out of the rot.
But he's selfish. He's cowardly. Now that she IS here. He wants her here. He wants her to have a chance to feel the water, look at a content sun, taste chocolate and wine. He wants her to crawl in the mud and make friends with all the new insects.
... He wants her to be there with him. Basically.
And he hates that he does.
So yes, three million levels of protectiveness. Happiness, inner conflict, but at the end it falls on the positive, and he's already thinking about how insanely good she'd be at clearing areas :D Not to mention, fermentation's going to be right up her ally.
Reverse sis.
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It's hard to say what Ptou means to her. He and Kokoli were her life. Like, yeah maybe she resonated with other Gods more, but those were the friendships she had as her own person. Those were the people she chose to love. What humanity and Real People Emotions she's ever had were there because of what she felt for Trollolot3. (FOR THOSE FOLLOWING AT HOME: it's not that Röta by nature is ~tragic and damaged and crazy~ it's just that she was since her inception very, very far from humanity, and was just kinda never interested in getting closer, except for brother and boyfriendo, who were both quite a bit more human than she.)
But aaaanyway. She absolutely hates him for what Sabra happening and her continued living. She does. So when she calls him idiot and useless, it's not even tsuntsun or teasing. There's a part of her that legit thinks that he's about the most useless piece of shit that has ever existed, and she's never really going to be able to totally forgive him, or even ever mostly forgive him. The horrors of murdercave are just too great to forgive anyone involved, let alone the one who was always destined to stop it.
Buuuuut then you get back again to "he is the most important person to me ever." So she's not capable of not loving him as her tied-for-most-important-person. He is \o/ he's her brother \o/ even when she hates him he's still absolutely tied for first with who she would most want with her anywhere in the universe. She doesn't know how not to love him most and no matter how long things went or how bad it got, now that they're in a weird place together it doesn't even really occur to her to try.
As far as living goes, she's not entirely too pissed off about that. She died, which she needed to, and she's not really complaining about what happens after that, even if it's stupid and a living body is gross.
It's sort of awkward dealing with his genuine enthusiasm, I think, probably because they're all so very unused to feeling genuine anything. But she sees him in Thusia of being a lot more like her old self, which is. Jut confusing for many reasons. That persona is the brother she loves most, and definitely missed through the long years of awful. But oth, she knows she can never even pretend to be the person she used to. There's probably some jealousy in there, another confusing feeling she doesn't understand. It's not like... Nanami Yan Little Sister Jealousy. It's not that he's giving other people attention (in fact if he was giving her that much attention she would probably stab him in the face) but really just the fact that he's capable of that kind of happiness is confusing for her.
So I guess what I'm saying is there's about a 50/50 that she'd stab a member of Sparkles to see if it would make her feel better.
but yes to sum up
LOVE HATE LOVE HATE HATE HATE HATE LOVE HATE
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Also, Ptou's thoughts on the last big event.
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